Realistically speaking if you all stepped foot in my house it would probably sound something like this “oh how cute”, “adorable”, or “I like that idea, I would never have thought of that”, or even maybe “your house is so pretty”. So I realize it is probably me that notices things in my home the most. However, they say that sometimes we don’t notice our own body odor. Is that the same as our house’s nastiness? Oh gosh. if so, I’m in trouble! I’ve put together some tips to help me know that everyone else has been dealing with my messy house FAR before I noticed it…
How to know it’s time to clean the house…
1. You can’t remember the last time you washed the sheets.
Or pillowcases. Or even turned the pillows over (Please tell me other people in the world do that?) Confession here. I do remember the last time I washed the sheets. I am just not going to cop to it. Cause it would ruin your opinion of me. Right now you think I am a super housekeeper/crafty/decorator person. You just keep thinking that.
2. You wipe your finger across your bathroom mirror and you can see your eyeball!
K. This has never happened to me. Well, no that’s not true. One time my son L’s job was to wash the mirror. He used some cleaning crud that left a film. But, that film was obtained in a pure and simple method. But in my lifetime I am sad to say that I have visited homes that the mirror needed a bottle of Windex and a couple washcloths!
3. More of your dog is on your sofa then on your dog.
I can NOT stand dog hair on my furniture. In our home, the dog is not allowed on any furniture. She just isn’t.
I know that isn’t the case in all homes. More power to you! But, if you can’t sit your tush down on your sofa without coming up with a new pant color; time to vaccuum! And chances are, other parts of your home need some attention too! I hate to admit that we don’t often buy black clothing in this house. Cause of the animal fur. Everywhere! And we even have short haired animals that are NOT allowed on the furniture. Imagine how much worse it could be. I feel sorry for many of you that are experiencing worse! AAhh
4. You forgot the kitchen sink is supposed to reflect!
This happens in small versions to me sometimes. It gets full of dirty dishes waiting for the dishwasher and seems to grow scum in minutes. My dear family kindly loads the dishes for me but… doesn’t rinse the sink. I don’t complain cause I am so grateful they are just loading it! But…the next day gets busy and I don’t get around to cleaning the stuck on grime. Two days go by. Yikes! Chances are again, if my kitchen sink has time to get that bad, other parts of my home need some freshening!
5. You can’t remember if you have a white, ecru, or cream bathtub.
Now, I think there should be a separate choice; orange. Cause we have hard water. And sometimes the bathtub looks a bit tangerine. I hate cleaning the tub. Sometimes I wait for it to take a decidedly orange tint. I am sorry. Just don’t ask to use my shower. But, I swear it only happens a couple several times a year
6. Your guests comment on your beautiful glazing on the walls.
You say thank you. And wonder what they are talking about. Then you realize; it’s the fingerprints.
7. You’ve lived in the house for 5 years and don’t remember once washing the windows.
True story. Along with bathtubs, I hate windows. But, I can ignore windows and not die. Unsanitary bathtubs can kill. Really! Haven’t you seen those health shows on CNN?
8. You have more junk drawers in your kitchen then drawers.
Haven’t you been to the houses with baskets! for stuff! Now, I am all for corralling stuff nice and neat. We have plenty of baskets for a multitude of uses in our house. But I found myself grabbing a cute basket to set on the counter to collect all the junk that was ending up on it. INSTEAD of cleaning out the 1 and 1/2 junk drawers.
I hate to admit that even while I write this post, that basket is still filled up on the counter. And the drawers? Yep, still not cleaned out. Ask me again in a couple months, they will probably still be like that. I have gotten used to that little basket. I think I should take my own advice on this one.
9. You wear your socks in the house and you don’t slide on your lino, wood, or tile. You have traction!
Now, I see how this could be beneficial in a game of tag with your kids or dog. But… Clean your floors! You should slip and slide all over. You should have to warn people to be careful. You do NOT have peel and stick socks. Or traction assist floors. Nope, haven’t been invented yet. And that is NOT the coloring in the tile; it’s chocolate. Nice try.
10. You walk into the house and say; what’s that smell?
Every time you walk in the door. Day after day. It’s your house’s BO. Kindly give it a shower. Just a bit of scrubbing. With some smelly stuff. Preferably antibacterial. And then light a candle. And make some coffee, or a pie; oooh a pie! And then sit back, smell the wonderfulness, and your house will love you!