I hadn’t heard until recently when it was brought to my attention about media coverage that was happening for a blogger that had quit the mommy blogging world with a great finale. In this final post she had blasted the mommy blogging world for being unauthentic, sharing only the most beautiful moments, and putting their blogs ahead of their families. Something like that. Because I am a blogger, and in many people’s minds…closely related to the mommy blogger world, this person assumed I would be offended.
Initially, I was. Not because parts of what this blogger stated isn’t true, it is. There are many, many large bloggers that only put out beautiful photos and happy moments. There are many times where the families of bloggers have to wait or sit aside while photos are taken or handshakes are given. And yes, at times, it can seem unauthentic.
But when I stopped and thought about these accusations for myself, for me, for NellieBellie, and for the brand I have been creating…I stopped being offended.
- I have shit that happens to me. I am often armpit deep in it on a daily basis. Does anyone truly think I don’t deal with my own stuff simply because I don’t put up photos on Instagram or Facebook? I doubt it. Me not telling you about the lawyer I had to hire last week, or my fight with the state insurance, or that my uterus has been bleeding for months straight doesn’t make me less authentic or real…it means I’m choosing what to focus on.
- I have been purposely developing a brand based on my life, my personality, and my real-life choices. And here’s the thing…I believe in choosing what we focus on. I believe in choosing joy and laughter and life. I believe that when the shit happens I will acknowledge it and deal with it but then, as quickly as I can, turn my head and look at the blessing life has given me. Which are always greater than the crap!
- It disappoints me that once again, women are being accused of being “less than” when they focus on their careers. It is commonplace for culture to assume and expect that men will often need to set aside time with family and friends for their jobs and careers. How disappointing that women are still not allowed that same grace. Sure, there are many “mommy bloggers” that are not at the career stage, not making much money, and/or simply using blogs as their hobby. And sure, there are some that are obsessed with their blogs to a fault. Yet, I make good money. Career-like money. Man-like money. And there are many bloggers, even mommy bloggers, that do. When I see them taking photo’s at a birthday party rather than interacting with their kids, I know why…they are paying a bill. I know that later that day they will probably sit and watch a movie with that child, snuggle, and order pizza. They’ll find a way to honor their child. Judgement of mother’s, in any career, is simply not okay. Mommy bloggers included.
- For many women, blogging is a hobby. Blogging has become the new scrapbooking, knitting, or bridge club. Hobbies can, for all of us, take over our lives very easily. We all are guilty of this. The added component, I think, is that this new hobby that many woman are taking part of is highly visible. You can see, very easily, how much time was invested simply by going to their blog. You can see when and where they spent time on their hobby by going to their social media. You can judge these hobbyist’s far more than the mom that stayed up all night finishing a scrapbook in her kitchen. Blogging is, by intention, out there for the masses to see and view (and judge, sadly). If you are a hobby blogger, a word of caution… don’t let it become all-consuming. Blog for fun. Blog for yourself. Don’t become angry when you are judged…you put yourself out for all to see and it’s bound to happen. Breathe, evaluate, and find the next pretty picture.
I want to give a giant hug to those “mommy bloggers” that feel shamed, guilty, and “less than” because of this woman’s media debut. Sure, you may have to step back and reevaluate. But please, know that there are other women that know your intentions are good, your parenting is real, your life isn’t perfect, and you are doing your best.
I love seeing your happy moments, your smiling children, and your yummy food. I know that you probably had screaming kids, poopy diapers, and fights with your spouse. But I thank you for giving me a bit more joy, a bit more thankfulness, and a quiet respect for your choice to remember what’s important…love and laughter.
And this woman that has used the media to share her opinion (or possible, the media has used her :))… I get it. She is absolutely right in many ways. For her. And probably for many other “mommy bloggers”, if truth be told. I’m so glad that she found what makes her happy, what makes her feel like the best version of herself she can be. Kudo’s!!
For NellieBellie, I will continue to show you happy days, moments that speak to me, yummy food, capsule wardrobes, smiles, and laughter. Because I desire to be authentic. And my personality, my life’s goal, is to teach my children that they choose to be happy. They choose to focus on good. They choose what they present to the world. They choose what they hold close to their heart.
NellieBellie will always be a place where you see laughter, love, smiles, pretty things, and inspiration. Because I focus on those things, regardless of the nasty stuff that might be happening in my life.
Choose YOUR happy.