MOST LOVED VIDEO THIS WEEK...

hypnotize chickens.

Before I introduce my guest blogger let me just say…
This is honest to goodness All him. There is no way I could even THINK about encouraging him to do anything this random or ridiculous. He is just awesome all by himself :).
I have been giggling off and on for a couple of days just THINKING about you all reading this…
Sometimes I love my life!

Today I would like to introduce you to my son Levi.
Levi is 8 years old, smart and funny, and stinking adorable.
He is in the 3rd grade, a great video game player, and all around fabulous kid.
He was given a book for Christmas that taught him lots of new things…some of which he tried.
He wanted to share one of those new things with you today.
How to hypnotize a chicken.
(He was also compensated for this blog post…a going rate of $5.00)
So here is his first, all by himself (except me typing) blog post.
Take it away Levi!

Dear Readers,

First thing…
This information is from “The Boy’s Book, How To Be the Best at Everything” by Dominique Enright and Guy Macdonald.

This will work on any chicken. If you want to do this you choose a chicken, you want to pick one that doesn’t really care about stuff. In my experience, it was a very crazy chicken. You want the chicken to know that you are the boss. Hold it so that it know’s you are the boss but don’t hurt it.

Lay it on it’s side and so the wing is tucked in. The side of it’s head is laying on the floor too.
Put your index finger against its beak. I read it as it works in the dirt probably better.
But, you put your index finger on its beak and you drag a one foot line from its beak and tell it a calm word so it doesn’t feel scared.
It will go into a trance but, to wake the chicken up all you have to do is raise your voice until it gets out of its trance and runs away.

If you don’t have a chicken ask someone to try it out on their chicken.
If you can’t get it out of it’s trance just buy it for supper.
Cause if you can’t get it out of it’s trance then they don’t have to live with a chicken that doesn’t really do anything.

This is the equipment I used, you might not need as much because the chicken I hypnotized was a wee bit nicer then I expected. What you’ll need is some boots ummm, gloves, a coat, snowpants, uhh protection goggles, ski mask, the hood for the coat, and if you want a mouthguard.

This is me holding the chicken to get it ready to flip it over.

This is the chicken when I put it in the trance, it wouldn’t move a muscle.

 

This is me poking it to see if it will get out of the trance.
I’m not sure if it will come out of it’s trance so I will have to call the place where I got the chicken to hypnotize tonight. And see if I have to buy it for supper tonight. I will tell you.
If you are a butcher you can use this so it calms down and then you can kill it.
Sincerely,
Levi (I found a green Lincoln!)
P.S. Every 100 comments Mom says is an extra dollar, so please comment.
P.P.S. please do nice comments
P.P.P.S. you are the best readers I’ve ever heard of. Cause you are the only readers I’ve ever heard of. O-tay! Bye!
Thanks so much Levi for sharing this useful tip! I bet there are lots of farmers out there that would love to know how to do this! And thanks to the family that let him borrow a chicken for hypnotizing! You are so brave!
Please leave Levi some comment luv to let him know you think his first post was oh so awesome!

Or if you simply enjoyed it :).

Or if you are a butcher.
Yep, you all only wish you were me :)
UPDATE: In response to some concerned comments…we did not nor ever were going to kill a chicken. The chicken was not harmed. It fell asleep. Yep, it was okay. And the comment he made about the butcher was a joke. Sorry if it offended some, it wasn’t intended to.
He didn’t really hypnotize a chicken. Of course not. But the fact that he thought he had…and still thinks he did…is amusing. At least to me. But he is my kid :).

Want to see more from Levi? Β Head over to his post on chicken coups. Β You’ll just die!

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13 Comments

  1. May 25, 2014 / 4:09 pm

    Levi– you are terrific and somehow if I would have read this not knowing it was on Nellie Bellie I would have recognized the resemblance. By the way, I am on the coast right now and the crabs are pretty vicious — do you think you could learn how to hypnotize them? There would be many people here eternally grateful. I hope you never change!!

  2. January 30, 2014 / 7:22 pm

    This is one of the greatest blog posts I’ve ever read! My boys are trying to convince me to let them go across the street so they can try to hypnotize our neighbor’s chickens now! :)

    • February 4, 2014 / 12:59 pm

      Aw thanks!! It’s one of my absolute favorite posts of all time! I hope they have success :)

  3. Tori
    January 30, 2014 / 5:11 pm

    Happy Birthday Levi!! Tell your mom to give you a dollar!!!

    Love,
    Aunt Tori and Uncle Steven

    PS, you should come visit us in Michigan so you can hypnotize all our chickens!

    • February 4, 2014 / 12:59 pm

      He got a dollar!! I wonder how it would work to hypnotize multiple? Wouldn’t they wake each other up?

  4. Maggi
    May 30, 2012 / 8:33 am

    Thank you Levi for the laugh which was much needed today. Great first post
    Hope we see more

  5. May 29, 2012 / 8:24 pm

    OMGosh!!! TOO stinking cute!! TOO stinking funny! My oldest daughter asked me what I reading. When I told her she says, “I should know better than to ask you.” ROFLOL!!!

  6. [email protected] of a Trophy WIfe
    May 29, 2012 / 7:39 pm

    I’m leaving my comment so he’ll be on his way to earning a $1 (I think he should be a regular contributor)

  7. Kristi
    April 18, 2012 / 8:13 am

    Tell Levi I’m impressed! My husband brought me home a rooster that he rescued from in front of a busy storefront. He had to catch him using his cast net (for fishing!) SWEAR! He hypnotized “8 piece” (my name for the rooster) by somehow getting him upside down…don’t know how…don’t wanna know…That rooster was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen and is living the good life somewhere on a farm in N FL! : ) Can’t wait for your next post, Levi!

  8. April 16, 2012 / 8:40 am

    So the PETA people stopped by?

    ~Bliss~

  9. April 16, 2012 / 8:16 am

    Oh, this is hysterical!!!! You can tell Levi that I’m going to try it out on one of my chickens today. Maybe I’ll even paint her toenails while she’s in her trance.

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